The Volunteers of Gotei 13
by Ebony Glasse
Summary: COMPLETE What had everyone else been doing while Ichigo had been unconscious after the Winter War? Multiple characters! :D
1. Prologue

**It's been about a year and a half since I wrote any sort of fan fiction, and this is my first Bleach one so I hope it'll be okay! I originally planned this out for a one-shot, but found that it was a little too long so I'm dividing it to 3 chapters instead.**

**This WILL be completed! **

*******SPOILER ALERT*******

_**This fic takes place after Ichigo wakes up from his 1 month recovery period thing, and I'm following the manga universe; so basically he wakes up at home and five minutes later all his shinigami powers evaporate and he can't see any ghosts or Rukia anymore. I'll use some minor stuff from the anime, but mostly it's from the manga.**_

**Hope you enjoy this! Reviews are, of course, hugely appreciated!**

**-Ebony Glasse**

**The Volunteers of Gotei 13**

Ishida was not at all suspicious of Ichigo suddenly dragging him to the extremely quiet, extremely private and extremely notorious little niche at the back of the school the very second the last bell rang. They had flown pass Inoue who was in the middle of saying goodbye, then gracefully (and desperately) avoided Tatsuki's angry kick before shoving Keigo out of the way and giving Chad and Mizuiro a very brief wave on their way out.

"So… what did you need me for?" he finally asked, adjusting his glasses. It should be forbidden for two men to be here. This place was notorious for _not_ having two men around here alone. After school. With sunlight dappling on them through the trees.

"Ishida. I need you to tell me, right here, right now, with no shortcuts. Tell it straight to my face, with no fancy words. I just have to know." Ichigo finally blurted out, pacing back and forth while ruffling his hair with both hands in frustration.

"Yes?" he replied, bored. He had an inkling about what Ichigo wanted to ask though, and an internal debate was warring inside him. Some of what he would tell him he wouldn't particularly care, others he might even find quite funny but it was the few that would really, really piss him off that made Ishida not want to be the bearer of this good/bad/interesting news.

"What happened during that one month I was unconscious?"

"Several princesses tried to wake you up with a kiss." Was the immediate response, complete with the adjusted glasses twinkling pose.

"_What?" _

"I'm sorry, would you be happier if I had said 'princes'?"

_"I-shi-da…."_

"I assume you're then referring to how everyone seems to be avoiding re telling anything that had happened in during that period of time."

"…Yeah. Ishida, I just need to know if they're avoiding telling me since they don't want to hurt my feelings. Like if it's shinigami related or something but whatever it is it's just pissing me off. And I know you're the only one here who won't care if my feelings or whatever got hurt in the process." Ichigo spat out.

"Are you sure you want to know, Kurosaki?" Ishida replied. "You might not like what you hear."

"Just tell me, dammit!" he snapped back, fuming. He had had enough of Inoue suddenly stopping mid-sentence, as if she remembered something she shouldn't say; or Chad having a pause before speaking as if to make sure he wouldn't spit out something he shouldn't. It wasn't just in school, either. There was something about the air in his own home that reflected the unwanted sympathy in his classroom that he just couldn't stand. Ishida thought about it for awhile – even if he didn't tell him now, Kurosaki would definitely found out sometime later on. So he might as well be the one to tell him.

"Okay, but before we start let me just tell you I had absolutely nothing to do with it and before you think of taking your anger out on me for some unfathomable reason, I am here to just tell you what happen. I have no association, no relation and no influence to the events that had occurred that past month. If you wish to withdraw your request, please do so now."

"…What the hell is with your disclaimer?"

"Is that a yes? Or a no? I'm not going to take responsibility for the news that you will hear as I have no association, no relation-…"

"Fine, fine! No I don't wish to withdraw, so get the hell on with it already!" Ichigo replied, inches away from whacking the most annoying honour student he ever had the (mis)fortune to meet in his life.

"Very well. You see Kurosaki, it all started when Soul Society discovered that they had a severe lack of staff and manpower after the Winter War. So Urahara generously offered the services of some of us from the human world to-…"

"_What did you say?"_

"For goodness sake Kurosaki, let me finish. Anyway, Urahara gathered a couple of us to be transferred to Soul Society-…"

"_What-?"_

"…**in order to provide some aid." **Ishida half-roared over Ichigo's words, adjusting his glasses.

"O-Okay, so who went?" he replied, backing off a little.

"Well all the divisions needed help, so Urahara sent each division one helper. Yamamoto refused having one for the first division though since it had too much important afterlife admin stuff or something so only 12 got sent off. What I know from here on is all based on what others told me. Therefore I had no association, no relation and no-…"

"I heard your disclaimer the first time already. Get on with it." Ichigo growled, but he wondered: 12? That was a lot. Ishida couldn't go because of the promise had made with Ryuuken, so the only people he could think of was Chad and Inoue. That would make sense of their behaviour – they wouldn't want him to know they had gone back to Soul Society when he didn't have his powers, but that left another 10 people. Where did Urahara get them from?


	2. Babysitter, Researcher & Freeloader

**Hi!**

**So just a short explanation;**

**Text that indents from the middle is Ishida's and Ichigo's conversation,**

**And text that starts from the left is Ishida telling Ichigo what had happened**

**I'll complete this fic in five chapters rather than the planned three, with one chapter featuring three divisions rather than six. The chapters are a lot longer than I initially planned… :S**

**Thanks for reading! As usual, all reviews appreciated! **

**-Ebony Glasse**

**The Volunteers of Gotei 13**

'_So anyway, let's start with the 13__th__ division…'_

Ukitake sat by his porch, drinking the tea that his third seated officers had not spilled in their competition to serve him, and watched as a young red headed boy swung his_ kanabo_ around manically with Sentaro trying to get him to calm down with no apparent success.

"Okay, so what help do you need? I'm all up for it! There's no way I can't do anything! Just bring it on! Hollow, arrancar, Aizen, whatever!" Jinta yelled, almost hitting Sentaro in the exact area of the male anatomy that was a crucial prerequisite for Father's Day.

"Um… Ukitake-taicho, do we really need this brat? For one we were actually one of the divisions that didn't need that much help…" Kiyone whispered to her captain.

"Urahara actually asked me for a favour, since he needed to make sure someone kept an eye out for Jinta-kun while everyone else was busy…" her captain replied, wondering if Urahara realised that more than half his division was already full of childish, so-called grown-ups.

* * *

'_So he's just a babysitter.' Ichigo said flatly._

'_The 13th division captain apparently has experience in day care for difficult children.' Ishida replied. It probably had something to do with his best friend who never grew up. 'Anyway next we have the 12__th__ division…'_

"Nemu, strap the girl to the dissection table. Now."

"But Mayuri-sama…" Nemu hesitated, looking at the little, pig-tailed girl who possessed an almost similarly bland look on her face. "…According to Urahara-san, it's almost time for her lunch-…"

"Who cares about that stupid Urahara Kisuke? I bet he just sent me this girl to show how much more superior his creation is compared to mine-!"

"Mayuri-sama, according to her data she is human. It would be impossible for Urahara to-…"

"That's what he's just trying to show me! That if anyone can make a human it's him! Just because he created the _hougyoku_ he thinks he's so great…" Just when Mayuri was beginning to go off on his rant, he felt a faint tug on his left sleeve. He looked down, only to see said human girl pointing at one of his gigantic flasks.

"Um. You might want to take it off the fire." She said softly. Mayuri's eyes narrowed.

"And why is that, child? Do you even know what it is?" he said, just as softly. She nodded.

"Urahara-san showed me something like this before I came here. If a bunch of people ingested it at the same time they could use a single person as the channel for their reiatsu… or… something…" she said, her voice growing softer and softer as Mayuri's expression grew darker and darker.

"_And why should I take it off the fire?"_

"Because if you don't… the whole solution then changes… and instead of rechanneling the reiatsu… it just evaporates… from their bodies… and… it… becomes useless…" Ururu shrank even more under his stare, but a light bulb clicked in her head as she remembered something else. "Urahara-san showed me the correct way to make it though so if you want to I could-…"

And that was the point where Mayuri's head literally imploded due to all his pent-up anger, with his hand still grasping _Ashizogi Jizou_ in a deathly grip.

* * *

'…_Urahara was just trying to piss him off right.'_

'_Even an idiot like you could figure it out I see. He would've killed her if she hadn't already blasted the other half of his lab with her _taiho _the first (and last) time he unsheathed his zanpakutou. Anyway, in the 11__th__ division…'_

"C'mon, you can stay at our place the way you let us stay at yours!" Ikkaku said – and it would have been an extremely friendly greeting if it hadn't been for the intimidating, demonic look on his face, as if promising to return very single humiliating moment he had to endure under the hands of Asano Mizuho.

"R-really…" Keigo stuttered, not really knowing what else to say. He was still in the middle of absorbing the fact that he had been transported into the (sort of) afterlife by the request (trickery) of the man (monster) in the hat from that huge basement. While at first he had been a little relieved to see two familiar faces, it was quickly evaporating as he remembered what little Yumichika had told him about the 11th division when they first met in the sane, human world. It didn't help that he kept hearing snatches of ominous conversations around him.

'_Hey, so that's the volunteer for the 11__th__ division?'_

'_Poor guy, don't think he'd be able to survive for even 5 minutes…'_

'_I'd say 3. How much you willing to bet?'_

"We have the most beautiful division out of the Gotei 13 – you're incredibly lucky, you know." Yumichika said breezily as Ikkaku lugged Keigo around by his head. Keigo was too busy wondering what happened if you died in the afterlife (since Ikkaku _was _strangling him) to hear the comment and feel grateful. He choked out some sort of request that was muffled by his constricted airways and doomed-streamed tears when he was finally released and dumped on the ground.

Dizzy, relieved but still unable to comprehend his surroundings he vaguely heard the 3rd and 4th seated officers say some sort of greeting before feeling a kick at his side.

"Oi, greet the captain properly idiot." Ikkaku hissed. Keigo looked up to nearly piss in pants as the Bruce Lee version of Godzilla in the disguise of a shinigami towered over him, grinning like a Cheshire lion.

"Yo."

"U-Uh… yo?" Keigo half-whispered before having a foot shoved into his face.

"That's 'good morning Zaraki-taichou', brat." Ikkaku growled.

"Now, Ikkaku… you can't expect a human like him to-…"

"Ken-chan, Yun-Yun said it's a _human_!" Yachiru interrupted, popping out from behind Kenpachi's shoulder. Yumichika did not look miffed. At all.

''It's'_, huh…' _Keigo thought tragically. He had just been devolved into a non-living item by a pink-haired miniature shinigami. The 11th division was apparently poor in psychological skills for collective company motivation.

"Human, eh?" Kenpachi repeated, looking him over.

"Y-yes…?" Keigo answered, scrambling to sit up – wondering if being a human was good or bad.

"One of Ichigo's friend's, eh?"

"Uh, yes?"

"So you must be pretty strong, _eh?" _Kenpachi's grin suddenly evolved from Cheshire lion to its full, crazed potential – Cheshire Godzilla.

'_OhmigodI'mgoingtodieintheafterlife…?'_

* * *

'_Hah? They took _Keigo?'

'_Like I said, they were desperate.'_

'_Oh, okay then.'_

'_Anyway, at the 10__th__ division…' Ishida continued._

_Neither bothered asking or telling how Keigo survived._


	3. Chef, Illustrator & Minor

**Thanks a lot for the reads, reviews and support everyone!**

** I've actually received a few requests to make omakes (especially for Keigo lol) but instead of those I was thinking of making some side stories in the future =)**

**It probably won't be any time soon, but if I'll try my best to keep entertaining all of you XD**

**All reviews highly appreciated!**

**-Ebony Glasse**

**The Volunteers of Gotei 13**

Hitsugaya Toushirou had no idea why all the men who he walked pass seemed to be glaring and muttering under their breaths, while all the women were pointing and giggling at him instead. Forget not being able to understand women – he couldn't understand people in general (It probably had something to do with their slight vertical advantage. The lack of oxygen at that altitude was screwing with their heads). In fact, the closer he got to his office, the more annoying the people became and he still had absolutely no idea what was going-

"Taichou! Welcome back! Look who's here to help us!" Matsumoto announced enthusiastically, shoving Inoue forward to present her to the 10th division captain.

"Ahahaha…" Inoue laughed nervously. "I'll be in your care this time, Hitsugaya-kun. Thanks for having me!"

And suddenly all the sideway glances and little chit chats at him made complete sense.

"I even brought a gift! It's homemade so it might not be as nice as something you'd get from a shop but I hope you'll like it!" Inoue continued, presenting him with a bento box that wrapped in a pretty, deceivingly innocent looking dragon patterned hanky.

Toushirou's body instinctively took a step backward. This was dangerous territory. Very, very dangerous. In his mind's eye, he could already see some bright coloured miasma emanating from her gift.

"A-ah..." He said slowly, carefully. Immediately his prodigal mind set to work - he didn't want to deal with a girl that might suddenly give him a ridiculously sad face if he rejected her home cooked food, which would then cause the people in the hallway to glare at him (captain or not, Inoue still had a cute face and huge boobs), which would then socially pressure him into accepting it, and then she would ask him to eat it, and then he would have to choose between hurting Inoue's feelings or dying, and then-

"_Ara_, Taichou, are you okay? Maybe you aren't feeling well since there isn't enough sugar in your system. You've been working quite a lot, haven't you?"

'_And whose faults do you think that is?'_ he thought darkly.

" Inoue's cooking a little on the sweet side though, so if you have some you should be fine. See?" Matsumoto said, unwrapping the bento in record time and stuffing something bright, yellow and pink into his mouth before he could do anything.

A little.

On the.

Sweet side.

Huh.

"…Hitsugaya-kun?" Inoue asked tentatively. "Are you okay? You really do look a little pale now."

"…I'll be going over to the 4th division for a bit. You can go share the bento with the rest of my division instead."

"Oh, but I made it just for you! I'll leave it on your desk anyway so you can have it when you get back, okay?" she said, flashing a smile that melted the hearts of half the men watching, and caused the other half to glare at him even more.

"… Alright." He said, staggering away. He had to figure out something else now. This body wasn't a _gigai _like in the human world that could be fixed, repaired and customised (to survive from her type of nourishment) easily – he really might not live if he ate any more of her cooking.

* * *

'…_Was Toushirou okay?' Ichigo asked, still remembering the bento Inoue so enthusiastically and generously offered to him when he had been starving in the middle of class. He had almost felt the nostalgic sensation of having his body and soul separated when he went into shinigami mode after a single bite. Except that there was nothing - not even Inoue's cooking – that could turn him back into a shinigami._

'_He received some… help from the 4__th__ division.' Ishida replied carefully._

'_What sort of work did Inoue do anyway?' Ichigo asked. Toushirou probably ended up with more trouble, especially since Inoue seemed to be under the care of Matsumoto._

'_I'm not so sure. If I'm not wrong Matsumoto got her drunk later on. Over at the 9__th__ division…'_

"You want me to do _what?" _

"Illustrate." Shuuhei said, flipping out a stack of papers.

"Look, Hiiragi-kun," she started.

"It's Hisagi fuku-taichou." He corrected.

"Whatever. You're telling me that I was brought all the way into the afterlife-…"

"Soul Society."

"…**into the afterlife," **she grilled on relentlessly. "To draw in some sort of. Newspaper."

"Magazine."

She only glared at him, and he just stared passively back. She finally looked away, if only to avoid that glaring number '69' on his face. This guy had to be some sort of publicly declared pervert. It was enough to make her want to hit him.

"Out of all the information I gathered from Urahara-san, only you seemed to have the decent ability to draw. I have quite high expectations of you, Arisawa-san."

"… And you based this information off?" Tatsuki asked. He whipped out 12 different drawings, all of them seemingly from some sort of art class. Among them she saw Orihime's little future self robot, something that resembled a stickman on fire holding a bat (presumably Jinta's) and her own future self where she pwned unknown opponent 728442 in the boxing ring.

"You have great talent." Shuuhei reinstated. Unlike the 11th division, the 9th division invested quite a lot into discovering psychological means in order to promote collective company motivation and success (the end result would be workaholics like Shuuhei). "We would deeply appreciate your contribution to our publications." He desperately needed someone to work out some semblance of art in his dying magazine, before Seireitei Communication completely lost out to the brainless gossip magazines of the WSA. Not to be too insensitive, but due to a… severe lack of skill in the visual department, the previous Head Editor - Tousen Kaname - had not been very interested in taking a more bold, artistic approach.

But it would not be the same for Hisagi Shuuhei – especially now that he had come across a human with an almost inhumane artistic talent. He would not let this chance whoosh pass him like a human lifespan.

"…Well, okay, I don't really mind-…"

_Bam!_

The door to the editorial department slammed open, and a rush of reiatsu sent most of the other shinigami to stumble to their knees. Shuuhei turned his head to the door, only to see the 11th division captain standing there with a murderously happy grin on his face.

"_Yo."_

"Who is he?" Tatsuki hissed, being one of the remaining few who were still standing.

"Well-…"

"Ya-_hoo!_ Is there an Arisawa Tatsuki here?" Yachiru asked, once more popping out from behind Kenpachi's shoulder.

"That would be me…" Tatsuki said uncertainly at the pink haired kid before Shuuhei could stop her.

'_This does not look good…'_

"Zaraki-taichou, good afternoon. Was there something you needed?" Shuuhei asked, trying to keep the anxiety and panic from his voice. If the 10th division captain suddenly decided that his testosterone charged division need a little artistic flair, he had absolutely no way of protecting his golden egg. Didn't they already have that dude who drew the mountain, butterflies and rainbow in the human art class anyway? Wouldn't he be enough?

All of it was in vain, however, as he was ignored and the captain moved straight to Tatsuki who didn't back away - although she was starting to look more than a little nervous.

"You're Kurosaki Ichigo's friend, eh?"

"Yes…"

"Arakawa Tatsumi, eh?"

"Well, it's actually Arisawa Tatsuki…" she replied, wondering if he even noticed he mixed up a girl's name with a guy's (Shuuhei felt a petty smugness since he wasn't the only one who's name had been forgotten today).

"The _karate kid_, eh?"

"… If you really have to put it that way…" Where was this going?

"The one who beat Kurosaki Ichigo, eh?"

"Well, yeah, but that was when-…" her words got caught off as an even larger blast of reiatsu erupted from Kenpachi.

"So you must be stronger than him, _**eh?**__"_

'…_Oh boy.'_

* * *

'_Uh. Did Tatsuki end up alright?' Ichigo asked, feeling a little guilty for his childhood friend. He wasn't _too _worried since he knew she could take care of herself, but Kenpachi could go a little crazy._

_..._

_Okay. So maybe saying that Kenpachi could go a little crazy was like saying Inoue's cooking was a little on the sweet side._

'_Kenpachi had the decency not__ to __use his zanpakutou since she didn't have any sort of weapon, and the 9__th__ division lieutenant managed to get someone to call the 7__th__ division captain to help out pretty quickly. They _had_ tried the 8__th__ division at first, but as usual…'_

"… So this is where you've been, Kyoraku-taichou." Nanao said, not sounding angry at all. Nope. Not at all.

"Nanao-chan, if you keep up with that face those wrinkles between your eyebrows are going to remain permanent, you know…" Kyouraku Shunsui said as he stretched himself on his little mat, drinking sake as per usual.

"Some 9th division people had been looking for you. The matter had been quite urgent." She said, scowling.

"I know, they sent a _jigokuchou_, but by the time I received it another came saying Komamura had helped settle it. Isn't he super efficient?" the 8th division captain replied languidly.

"That isn't the point. Anyway," her attention then shifted to the huge man sitting awkwardly beside him. "How old are you?"

"Why, Nanao-chan, if you want to know my birthday, I would be-…"

"I'm not talking to _you!" _she snapped, resisting the urge to slap him left and right using her extremely thick record book.

"…Sixteen." Chad mumbled out, wondering if she would hear him.

"_Underage drinking!" _she shrieked, not bothering to note that Chad didn't even have a cup._ "_Kyoraku-taichou, a man of your age and standing should be responsible enough to know that there is a legal age for people to start drinking, and who even knows what would happen if humans drank the alcohol here? For all you know, the effect is completely different and-…!"

While Nanao nattered on, Chad simply sat there as he had when Kyouraku had picked him from the line-up earlier that day. His lieutenant had agreed since – although he had been a _ryoka_ – out of all the people that Urahara Kisuke had presented, he had looked the most reliable. The moment her back had turned however, he had been swept away for a mini holiday in Seireitei by her own captain.

…Why was he even here?

* * *

'_So even Chad went, huh…' Ichigo said quietly, not knowing how to react. Chad had blamed Ichigo for not trusting him before in the past, and now that he himself was in that position he wasn't quite sure about how he felt._

'_Um. Yeah.' Ishida said, not sure if he wanted to continue._

'_Okay, so who's next? The 7__th__ division right?'_

'_Err. Right.' He replied. Suddenly he was realising what a bad, bad idea this was. Kurosaki Ichigo would not be happy to know who had set foot in Soul Society – no, he would be _pissed_. So incredibly pissed, in fact, that -…_

'_Oi, Ishida?'_

'_It's not all that interesting so maybe we should skip straight to the 6__th__ division instead-…' he chattered._

'_I-shi-da…' Ichigo said suspiciously._

_'...Ihavenoassociation,norelationandnoinfluenceto-…'_

'I get it already!_ Who the hell was it?'_


	4. Tea, Ropes & Paper

**Okay so well first of all I'm REALLY sorry for the slow update! My holidays just started and I got a little carried away... =P**

**Anyway there's a small reference to the anime in this chapter, if you only read the manga you can just look up the said character in bleach wiki and the stuff will start to make sense =)**

**Again, thanks for all the reviews and I'll really appreciate any more that you send in! XD**

**UPDATE: 5/5/11**

**I'm in the middle of exams right now, so the next, final chapter is only going to be posted up at around the 21st of May. I'll get working on it as soon as I can, but exams come first! Hope you'll all keep sticking around, and thanks for all the reviews so far! They really make me happy =D**

**-Ebony Glasse**

**The Volunteers of Gotei 13**

"Welcome back, Komamura-taichou." Iba greeted as his captain stepped through the door.

"Were there any problems when I was away?"

"None, taichou."

Komamura nodded and headed for his table. He had lost to Kenpachi once, so to try and stop him from beating up a human girl didn't seem so appealing at first. If he failed, there was once again another chance for him to grandly lose face. But of course, he couldn't possibly use that poor excuse if she ended up… not surviving. So off he had gone, off his extremely comfortable chair, out his office, down the street, into the 9th division's editorial department (damn you Kyouraku, you were so much closer why couldn't you get _some _work done once in a while?) and helped explain the situation to Yachiru along with a frantic 9th division lieutenant to try and stop her Ken-chan. After 3 bags of sweets with a promise of more to come, a contract for an 8 page feature on the WSA and an 'offer' to play with his 'fluffy ears', she agreed to stop Kenpachi. He then dragged himself back to his office, where he was greeted by his own lieutenant, sat down in his comfortable chair again-…

'_What. Is with this. Eternal monologue.' Ichigo interrupted._

'_Um. Well. Komamura is a very tedious person.'_

'_You're the one telling it.'_

'_Well. Um. Kurosaki. I was just getting into character._

'_Right.'_

'_And… I'm about to get on with it.'_

As he sat down, the calming scent of tea reached his nose. There was a knock on the door, and a light brown head popped in.

"Komamura oji-chan, Iba oji-san would you like some more tea?" Yuzu asked-

'_**WHAT. DID. YOU. SAY?'**_

**__****_'I-have-no-association-no-relation-and-no-influence-to-the-events-that-had-occurred-and-seriously-if-you're-gonna-go-kill-anyone-go-kill-Urahara-Kisuke…'_**

'_Quit it with the disclaimer already! What the hell was Yuzu doing in Seireitei? She can't even see spirits properly!'_

'_Yes. Well. Urahara took care of everything, and your sister is completely fine as you've seen so yourself isn't she?'_

'…_.That's not the point. How could she have even-?'_

'_By the way you might want to listen to who got assigned to the 6__th__ division.'_

'_Don't try to change the subject, Ishida…'_

'_You really don't want to know who ended up with Byakuya?'_

'…'

* * *

Kuchiki Byakuya was not a happy man. Not that he ever was, but this time quite he was quite exceptionally, especially, and exponentially displeased.

"Abarai."

"Yes, Kuchiki-taichou?" Renji replied, looking up from his own work although he already had an idea of what his superior wanted.

"Silence that thing."

"But… uh…" He looked up at the 'thing' his captain was referring to, which had been tied up, gagged, and was currently hanging from the ceiling but yet still managed to prove to be a nuisance with all the wiggling and squealing. Somehow. There was only one final way to silence it, yet he didn't think it would be particularly… ethical. "How would you like it done, captain?" Why did he feel like a waiter?

"Permanent." Came the stone-cold reply.

"Oh, um, okay, but, uh, maybe… you know Yamamoto sou-taichou won't be happy if it's done like that…" The glare that was sent his way made him cringe. "Maybe we should wait for Rukia?" he suggested. Byakuya didn't say anything, just gave one final glare at the despicable object hanging energetically from his ceiling and gave a small nod. Rukia, who arrived about five minutes later, surveyed the atmosphere in the room with puzzlement before realizing that something quite prominent was swinging by the ceiling.

"_Chizuru-san!_ Nii-sama, Renji, what's going on?" she said quite frantically, while jumping up and down to try and retrieve her classmate (who started swinging around even more energetically).

"Yamamoto assigned her here since she was one of the last human volunteers remaining, and we hadn't, um, bothered to go pick one of our own. He knew Kuchiki-taichou would have probably kicked her out first chance he got, so he casted some sort of weird _kidou _that doesn't allow her to be more than 5 meters away from him… Hence…" They both looked up from the dangling Honshou Chizuru who was wrapped in ropes from shoulder to ankle, swinging back and forth like a particularly happy cocoon.

"Rukia."

"Yes, Nii-sama?"

"You are acquainted with this human?"

"Um, yes. I met her during my time in the human world…"

"Take her out of this room. And keep her out."

"Yes, Nii-sama…" Rukia said, hoping Chizuru would behave. "Renji, could you help me?" Once they both helped Chizuru down, and set her free, however…

"_Rukia-chan~! _It's so good to see you! You're as pretty as ever I see! So stunning in the black kimono! I always knew you were a little different! Oh, Rukia-chan, come marry me-…!" she immediately squealed out, throwing herself brazenly at the smaller girl and knocking her over as she buried herself in the her bosom… completely unaware of the warning alarms that were blasting off due to the threatening aura that emanated from a certain older brother.

"…_.Scatter, Senbon-…"_

"Wait, Nii-sama!" Rukia said desperately. "Renji!" turning to her best friend in her time of need, all she saw was him standing there looking a little stoned with a bit of a nosebleed.

"Uh, I… didn't see anything." He said quickly, looking away.

"_Renji!" _she sputtered out, not really able to think of anything that would get him to control his captain at the mo-

_Bam._

Everyone in the office looked up to see a forbidding figure standing in the doorway.

"_Yo." _Kenpachi grinned manically.

"… Zaraki-taichou, I currently have some business to attend to. Return later." Byakuya said coolly, his own version of _GTFO_.

"Is your business with that human girl?" Kenpachi replied, looking at the half-drawn Senbonzakura.

"Ah, Ken-chan and Byakushi are fighting over a _girl! _Hahaha!" Yachiru giggled from Kenpachi's shoulder.

Byakuya's killing aura intensified.

"Kindly finish your business with her quickly." Was all he said, before sheathing his zanpakutou. By then Rukia had successfully managed to get Chizuru off her, Renji had somehow managed to stop his nosebleed and the sudden turn of events was starting to look quite redundant.

"Oi, woman."

"What?" Chizuru replied, not at all interested in the scar-and-muscle mass that towered over her. The little, pink-haired girl on his shoulder was really cute though. Oh, it would be a crime, but really - this was the afterlife, maybe normal rules didn't apply…

"I heard you fought an Arrancar, eh?" he asked.

Arrancar? Wasn't that what the hat-man had called the purple-haired, rabbit-mask lady with the monster boobies?

"I think that's what they were called, yeah." She replied, not noticing the desperate looks Rukia was shooting her to _STFU._

"And you won, eh?"

Well, she certainly did _defeat_ that lady… _**Ohohohohoho…**_

"I had her_ completely_ conquered!" Chizuru announced grandly.

'_Oh crap…' _ Rukia thought, looking backwards and forward between her ex-classmate and the 11th division captain – one who seemed quite proud of herself, and the other who was starting to have that creepy grin on his face.

"That must mean you're pretty strong, _eh?"_

'…_You cannot be serious.'_

'_I am.'_

'_They sent. Honshou.'_

'_Yes.'_

'_To Byakuya.'_

'_Indeed.'_

'_And she ended up fighting Kenpachi.'_

'_Well she couldn't really, since she wasn't using her __Karakuraiza _outfit - besides her technique only works on women.' 

_Ichigo did not want to know what that technique was. At his loss for words, Ishida quickly took the jump to continue just in case he started on his sister again._

'_It got taken care of quite quickly enough. Anyway, at the 5__th__ division it was quite uneventful...'_

* * *

"Here's the rest."

"Oh, thanks…" Momo said quietly, accepting the small pile of paperwork. She didn't know quite what to make of her helper – when she had looked through the data for all the human volunteers with Kira, they had both agreed that he was probably the only one who could do some decent work. She had heard Nanao would be after him – even Kira, Renji and Shuuhei had admitted they could use his help. But Nanao had ended up choosing someone who looked as if he could make her captain work (he didn't), Shuuhei had decided to tackle something different with Seireitei Communication using his volunteer (she didn't get the chance to start) and Kira, being Kira, gave in and let her have the 'reliable volunteer'.

There was just one problem with him.

'_Remember, if he causes you any sort of trouble, just call for one of us. We'll be there, okay?' _Kira had reminded her, along with Renji and Shuuhei. She hadn't told Toushirou since she didn't want to trouble him – besides, she still didn't quite know how to face him…

"Is there a problem, Hinamori-san?" he asked.

"Oh - ah, no! Sorry, did you ask me something?" she replied, quite flustered. She could see where the danger came from – but she was a lieutenant. And he was just a human. She was perfectly capable of taking care of herself.

"Nothing, you just looked quite troubled. You should rest a little." He said, clearing some space for her on the sofa that was crowded with stacks of documents. Now she was feeling guilty – all she had to judge him was that small amount of data on a piece of paper. She hadn't known anything about him at all and had actually came up with countermeasures if he had tried anything on her – but no. He had been the perfect gentleman, and an efficient worker the whole time. Receiving news about the sort of havoc that some of the volunteers were causing (wholly supported and instrumented by Zaraki Kenpachi) made her appreciate his presence even greater.

"Oh… okay. Thank you, Kojima-kun." She said, taking a seat as Mizuiro continued sorting through the rest of the papers. "You know, I have to apologize. I was kind of expecting some sort of womanizing, um, pervert since the data about you was pretty misleading…"

"Hm? Misleading?" Mizuiro replied, looking up from his work.

"Yeah, I mean, I was pretty worried you might try something… or… something…" she finished off lamely, feeling too embarrassed to continue. A part of her was shocked she even started on the topic.

"Oh, _that. _You don't have to worry about that, Hinamori-san." Mizuiro replied, smiling.

"Ahaha, I know, right?" she said nervously, rubbing the back of her head.

"Of course. After all, I'm only interested in more mature women." He continued, still smiling.

Momo froze.

* * *

'_I see.' Ichigo said._

'_Yes. You do.' Ishida replied._

'_I also see something else.'_

'_Do you now?'_

'_Yes. I do.' Ichigo gritted his teeth. 'You still haven't explained anything about Yuzu!' he snapped, looking ready to murder Ishida._

'_Relax Kurosaki - I'll explain it all now since it's related to the 4__th__ d-division…' _

'_Did you just stutter?'_

'_No.'_

'_Yes you did.'_

'_No I did not. I just bit my tongue a little.'_

'_Ishida.'_

'_Yes.'_

'_Who's at the 4__th__ division?'_

'_Um. Well. You see. I have no-'_

_'Don't you dare start on that disclaimer.'_


	5. Battery, Resume & Spirits

**The Volunteers of Gotei 13**

There were several known but unsaid things about Unohana Retsu. Oh, yes, she was a kind and compassionate woman; a lovely lady, really. Underneath her serene exterior was someone who was even warmer than anyone else expected, and after serving directly under the 4th division captain for so long Isane knew that best of all.

She also knew that beneath that serene exterior, a (not always) dormant dragon was just waiting to rear its compassionate, destructive head.

"How are you feeling?" Unohana asked as she checked the young girl's forehead and pulse. "Tired? Dizzy? Nauseous?"

"No, I can keep working." She replied, absently twisting the weird device on her left-

"…_Karin was there too huh."_

"_Er, yes. Well. You see, Kurosaki… I have-…"_

"_Screw your disclaimer. What happened?" Ichigo muttered. What was done was done, and his sisters were unhurt and safe – he couldn't stop what had happened but at least he could find out._

-wrist. Karin had no idea what it was supposed to do – the nice lady had told her something too complicated for her to understand, but said it wasn't that important so Karin had simply nodded her head and helped out like she usually would with her dad's clinic.

"It's alright if you want a break, you know." Unohana said. smiling. Karin relaxed at that expression, but Isane saw _it._ She saw the crouching tiger hidden dragon aura emanating from her captain – that smug miasma that had surrounded her the moment she realised that among the volunteers were Kurosaki Ichigo's younger sisters. Under normal circumstances, Unohana might have been strongly against the idea of humans being sent to _Seireitei_… but not this time.

Isane stole a glance at the little girl's left wrist.

The device looked a little too ridiculous and bulky on such a small person (then again, almost everyone else seemed small compared to her…), blinking a red light to show that it was still working. It looked completely innocent, like an oversized accessory, but it wasn't. Nope. Not at all. The reiatsu-energy convertor had been invented quite some time back, but due to the lack of manpower, it had been thrown to the back of the closet.

Enter Kurosaki Karin, Soul Society's first mobile energy generator.

_Beep beep beep…_

"Ah, again?" Unohana said, sounding quite surprised in a ladylike manner. Isane saw her shadow gloating. "We'll take it off you now, and when you feel ready we can pass you another one if you wouldn't mind."

"You can give it to me now. I really don't feel that tired." Karin insisted. Apparently the thingy was supposed to suck out her energy or something, but she didn't feel much different.

"Even so, Karin-chan, we don't know if there are other adverse effects so we'll wait for at least an hour or two okay?" Isane said, removing the device from the younger girl's wrist. This was the 3rd consecutive one she had filled up – the first had been used to maintain the technology that helped her twin maintain herself in the time and space within _Seireitei_. The rest went to generating or storing energy for the 4th division's equipment. It would've normally taken 2 or 3 shinigami to fill it up in the time she did – and Isane was well aware that Unohana was extremely aware of this fact, especially after going through the Garganta with Kurosaki Ichigo. It wasn't uncommon for family members to share strong spiritual powers, hence…

"…What are you doing here?"

"Oh, hi Toushirou-kun!" Karin said cheerfully, grinning at the stone-faced 10th division captain who decided to make his sudden appearance. "I came to help out too. You don't look so good. Did you eat something weird?"

Something weird could pretty much sum up and understate Inoue's cooking.

"… Kind of. Unohana, is it okay for her to be-?"

_Bam!_

"_Yo." _Once more, Zaraki Kenpachi made his manic grand entrance. "Which one of you is Kurosa-?"

"Initiate anti-Zaraki-taichou mechanism." Unohana said calmly – and suddenly the floor beneath Kenpachi sprang up, sending him flying away with Yachiru laughing madly. "That won't hold him off for long. Hitsugaya-taichou?" Toushirou nodded wearily, and then proceeded to push Karin out towards the back door.

"Hey Toushirou, who was that? I thought he was looking for me…" she said, continuously trying to look over his mass of white hair.

"That's just your imagination. He was looking for a Kurosawa." He replied, manoeuvring her through the crowd of 4th squad members. Kenpachi had probably heard that Ichigo's sister was here and would have assumed (as usual) that she was as strong as he was. Unohana would have anticipated this (especially with his previous rampaging cases with the other divisions) – besides, anti-Zaraki-taichou mechanisms had been put in place ever since Kenpachi's first week in Soul Society when he had decided to go rampaging in the 4th division.

"Hey Toushirou?"

"Ah?"

"Since you seem kinda free now, wanna go play soccer? It'll make you feel better." She said gleefully.

"…Fine."

"_Kenpachi tried to attack my sister."_

"_Unohana made sure there was always someone with her so she was safe. Besides, Kenpachi got lost 4/5 of the time and ended up trying to fight Keigo." Ishida wondered how Ichigo would react if the 'someone' Karin was with most of the time ended up to be Hitsugaya Toushirou. His situation was bad enough already - he wasn't walking on thin ice here. He was already treading on the high surface tension of water._

"_Okay…" Ichigo said, trying not to lose his cool. Maybe a distraction would stop him from whacking the living daylights out of Mr. Disclaimer. "Who's next?"_

Kira Izuru gloomily looked through the day's paperwork. He knew he wasn't the sunniest person that ever existed, but his negative energy seemed to have permanently cemented itself throughout the office. Ichimaru Gin used to act as a sort of neutraliser with his pranks and persimmons, but not anymore.

That thought only made him feel gloomier.

"Would you get a grip already! Your negative energy is saturating the air in this place!"

The presence of the talking stuffed toy just dragged him down deeper into the emotional bog. With every other candidate taken up some way or the other, Kira ended up with the_ konpakku_ who had the 'spectacular ability to continue complaining no matter the situation', as stated in his (its?) resume. Every other capability stated both directly and indirectly that Kon would be of absolutely no help with desk work, and would prove exceptionally well in talking. All. The time.

Urahara Kisuke's resume for the candidates were depressingly accurate.

Hinamori had optimistically suggested that perhaps it would be good to have an opposite character beside him. Shuuhei had randomly informed him that the stuffed toy had the artistic talent (and fashion sense) of a 12 year old (girl). Renji had bought him some earplugs – but they were cheap and weren't working very well.

"Hey, hey, I know what can make you feel better." Kon suggested, grinning in what his resume described as the 'perverted old man grin'.

"…I don't have a soft toy fetish." Kira stated, saying the first thing that came to mind. The resume had warned him that the _konpakku_ was also an indiscriminate sex fiend - another good reason to keep it away from Hinamori. Matsumoto had also provided something from the human world called a 'rape whistle', but he had thrown it away once she wasn't looking since Shuuhei and Renji were laughing the crap out of themselves. He was starting to regret it now.

Said soft toy was now frozen to the spot. It must be devastated, stunned and at a loss since he had already figured out its plan. It must have been unaware about the amount of information stored inside the extremely precise resume by Urahara Kisuke!

Screw pride, screw vice-captain position, and screw Yamamoto Genryuusai's orders; there was no way he was about to get screwed by a soft toy. He quickly mind-skimmed through the resume – it's main ability was something to do with strong legs, so running would not be an option now… there was no choice then.

"_Raise your head, Wabisuke."_

"_They were desperate enough to rope in Kon?"_

"_Well, they roped in Asano so how much more different are they really?" Ishida replied boredly._

_Ichigo thought about it. Sure, if some fair amount of bait and running away was involved, Kon would have been okay for the job – but he would need a gigai at least, and he wondered if it occurred to them that a stuffed toy may not have certain physical apparel such as fingers that would be needed for paperwork._

_So for now…_

"_Urahara made that stuff up about the… indiscriminate sex fiend, right?"_

"_Among others."_

_Ichigo felt a ton of relief slam itself onto his shoulders._

"_Okay." He breathed out when he recovered. "So… Jinta, Ururu, Keigo, Inoue, Tatsuki, Chad, Yuzu, Mizuiro, Karin, Kon… is there really anyone else left for the 2__nd__ divison? That was pretty much everyone right? Unless it was Yoruichi, or Tessai... or Urahara himself?" Ishida looked quite surprised._

"_No, they're still at odds with Soul Society. Only humans (besides Kon) went over to _Seireitei_…But there's still one more person left. I can't believe you actually forgot about him."_

"…_Hah?"_

"_Oh well. I can tell you Suì-Fēng isn't ever going to forget him anyway."_

Omaeda prepared himself to knock on the door of his captain's office. He might have accidentally broken another one of the vases in the hall (why the heck were there so many?), and his family could definitely pay for it, but that would be the 3rd thing he broke this month and suffice to say Suì-Fēng wasn't-…

"_**BOHAHAHAHAHA!**_You don't have to afraid anymore _girl… SPIRITS… ARE ALWAYS… WITH __**YOU**__!"_

**CRASH**

"_GET OUT OF MY OFFICE!"_

…Maybe now wasn't a good time.

* * *

**Hi guys! Sorry for the extremely belated update (I got a little too distracted) but thanks for all your support and reviews so far! I really hope you enjoyed reading **_**The Volunteers of Gotei 13 **_**as much as – or even more than - I enjoyed writing it! =D**

**And yes, you'll have to excuse Karin's story with the 4****th**** division… Sorry, but I'm a bit of a HitsuKarin fan and I just couldn't help it! =P**

**It started with a lot of what-if ideas and I'm glad I got to wrote this fic. Like I said before, I might be writing side stories (I would **_**really **_**like to write one for Don Kanonji XD), but it could be anytime in the near or distant future so just keep an eye out for them! =D**

**Once again, thanks for everything! **

**-E. Glasse**


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